My favorite word… Fuck

Today was an abnormally warm day for November, and I found myself doing one of my favorite things this afternoon- driving fast with the top down and the radio up.

After the first three songs on my play list finished, I realized something about my self: I love saying, and loudly singing, the word fuck. Smosh’s song ‘Firetruck’ blended into Buckcherry’s ‘Crazy Bitch’ which faded into Theory Of A Deadman’s ‘Bad Bad Girlfriend,’ all which say Fuck, loud and proud. And I was loving every second.

It’s my favorite curse word, followed closely by both shit and damn it. Have I mentioned I have the mouth of a sailor? Anyway, there is something so very satisfying in the word fuck. It just feels good to say, not to mention do.

I love making love, but there is something so primal and satisfying in a good fuck. It’s just so… Mmm.

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Taboo, Or Not Taboo: That Is The Question

I’ve been pretty scatter-shot in my first few short stories, experimenting with what comes naturally. Please Officer, I’ll Do Anything was my first. Pretty straight forward- cop, handcuffs, could be caught at anytime cuffed naked to his light bar. I had been seeing cops everywhere, and it had always been a fantasy, so I brought yet another ‘get me out of this ticket’ story to life.

Then came Shared On My Husband’s Birthday. That’s my personal favorite so far. I think the cover is beautiful. I stole bits of it from a novel I wrote under another (tamer) pen name, and raunched it up quite a bit. Husband and wife, roadside tryst interrupted, brings questions and experiments of sharing the marital bed with others.

Then came My First Menage, my least favorite so far. A FMM story. I came up for air after that one, and started looking around at what other authors write about. Wow. Everything is out there. It was liberating and terrifying at the same time. Teacher/ student, daddy/ daughter, milking, breeding, alien tentacles, water sports, latex, shoving S&M whips up backdoors and prancing like ponies- EVERYTHING.

Almost taboo pseudo incest seemed to be popular, so I tried my hand there too. My next two titles were Spying On My Sister, in which no actual sex happens between the sisters, but one sister walks in on the other sister’s threesome ¬†and watches unseen, and Massaged And Shaved By My Step- Brother.

Imagine my surprise when I tried to upload those last two to Amazon, only to find them blocked as unacceptable. My first thought was “titles like ‘Fucked And Bred By Daddy’ are OK, but this is blocked?” And my second thought was “Jeeze Amazon, where do you think I got the ideas for these titles in the first place? Umm…Your catalog.”

I had walked unknowingly smack into the uproar soon to be labeled the Pornocalypse. Little did I know about the unknown new rules and the crack down, and I’m glad I wasn’t one of the many authors who lost a lot of titles in the melee. But over on Smashwords, those two titles were the only ones anyone bought. Hmm. After a lot of research lurking on blogs and Kboards, I repackaged those two into the prettier Spying On My Roommate and Shaved And Massaged By My Neighbor for Amazon.

I also altered Please Officer and uploaded a stepbrother edition of that one, put it with the other two ‘family’ titles, and sold it as a trio. “Dirty Little Secrets (Family Trio- Banned On Amazon)” is my best selling title on Smash. There is a definite audience for those types of books. Next I wrote Seduced At The Marine Masquerade Ball, uploaded that pretty one to Amazon, then altered it. Now there is also a Deflowered By My Step Brother At The Marine Masquerade Ball. I had figured out a system. Write what ever I want, make one pretty for Amazon, and one taboo for other retailers. Twice the titles, half the work.

Hot For Teacher was next. I didn’t really see the need for a Hot For Step Teacher, so I left it alone.

Then something odd happened- I wanted to write a cheating wife story, but I felt guilty for even thinking about it, so I ran the idea past my husband. Now why would I feel the need to ask my husband if he’d mind a cheating wife story, but I didn’t even think twice (or ask) before pounding out a swinging married couple story (we don’t swing, just saying) or step sibling stories?

My husband’s response is a blog post in the works all by itself, and I plan on tackling that soon, but for now I’ll stick to this topic. Why was I comfortable writing pseudo incest but nervous about exploring a cheating wife? Wow it took a long time to get to the point of this whole post:

What am I comfortable writing and why? And where do I draw the line between making money and pissing off karma? So I figured I needed a mission statement, the way other new businesses do. I needed to figure out my lines, why they are my lines, and put them down on paper to fall back on later if I’m ever tempted to cross my lines. I don’t want to get caught up in writing things that creep me out just for the money. That messes with the flow of the universe, karma kicks in, and life gets miserable. I’ve already picked a shadow world as it is- writing erotica is still frowned on in many a circle.

I also know that I don’t think about things in life in the same ways a lot of other people do- quick detour here, but it’s my blog and I can do what I want, so…

I’ve seen ads for egg donors and for surrogates, and I thought those through as well. I couldn’t be an egg donor, even at $5000 a pop. That’s my genetic material. No matter who used that egg- that kid is half me. My genes running around somewhere without me freaks me out. I couldn’t do it. I’d consider it my kid. But I could easily be a surrogate. I almost did it actually. That’s just babysitting. If a lady couldn’t get pregnant for what ever reason, but a scientist took her egg, mixed it with her husband’s sperm, and wanted my healthy womb to use as an oven to bake their kid til it was ready? Yeah, I could do that, no problem. That’s babysitting- here have your kid back, was fun, thanks for the $20,000.

So, I know I’m weird. Back to the taboo, I did what I always do- I put myself in their shoes. I realized that I can’t do step mom or step dad stories. That creeps me out. There’s a line there for me. They are supposed to be authority figures, trustworthy and stuff. I’ve been married before and I am officially a step mom to a step daughter who lives with her mom. Even if I was inclined to like girls myself, or if she was a step son, I could never do my step kid. Ever. Just gross. And a step dad with a step daughter is gross too. So since I wouldn’t ever do that in real life, I won’t write about it.

But step siblings I see differently. Even though that freaks out a lot of other people (and that’s ok) I see that differently. My daughter’s dad remarried a lady with boys. Sometimes the boys live with them, sometimes they live with their dad. But my daughter lives with me. So they are all under one roof decently often, but they don’t live together. And when they are together, they fight more than anything else. So I put those real life actual people into consideration. If my daughter ever ended up with one of those boys, would I forbid it? Nope. I wouldn’t encourage it, but they are not related by blood in any way, shape or form. They never lived together as brothers and sister. And honestly, I’m thinking there is a divorce in the works over there anyway, so they probably won’t even be step siblings for very much longer. If they ever ended up together I wouldn’t encourage them to tell everyone how they met, but I wouldn’t disown her by any means. Therefore- I have no issues writing about two not-blood-related, fictional, over 18 characters getting it on.

I read about real life cases of student/ teacher happening all the time. If it happens in high school or younger, I want to go take care of that teacher personally. But college? I know it’s not right, but they are adults. So I wrote a college title Hot For Teacher.

I did actually sit down and put a mission statement together, and here it is:

Alter Ego Publishing is devoted to being a premier provider of quality erotica of any length. We are aimed at giving our readers and writers an outlet for well written erotic works to entertain and excite.
Our erotic stories are fictional fantasies, an escape from reality. Imaginations are meant to be explored and should be allowed to run free without considerations for real world consequences- fantasy is fantasy and that entails a freedom not available in the real world.
Our mission is to profit and grow from publishing erotic, sometimes taboo, stories featuring of-age consenting adults. You will not find works here that include minors, blood relatives, forced rape for arousal purposes only or animals that can not consent. (That last part is for later- if we find ourselves covering the popular shape-shifter type erotica.)
Taboo works, including “pseudo-incest” relations between two grown, consenting, not really related characters are offered, in addition to other not quite legal in real life situations like teacher or babysitter type sex.
Our goal is to put out (bad pun intended) quality work, on a consistent monthly basis, with occasional titles being offered for free as we grow.

Sounds official, huh? Even though so far Alter Ego Publishing only consists of my pen names, but whatever.

Now, I am off to work on my next story, which by the way involves a cheating wife at this point. That conversation will be covered on this blog soon, as writing is how I work things out for myself in my own head in addition to just writing smutty fantasies.