Erotica writers are people too

Just got back from an interesting walk. I was literally expecting a cop car to pull up beside me any second cause I just knew someone had to have called in a suspicious person. First off I tried new sneakers today that had no backs to them, so I felt like I was walking on shifting sands, or how you walk on snow and ice so your feet don’t get out from under you. I imagined that I looked like an old Asian lady trying to power walk in clogs- don’t ask me why, that’s just the image I had of myself. Then add the spider webs. You know those tiny little spiders that when they leave the nest they throw out a long web parachute and let the wind decide where they will live? They have been everywhere lately. My husband has been fighting ‘those sneaky little paratroopers’ in the Jeep, they just dive bomb out of nowhere. Well a nest must have released between the last time I walked and today, cause every five seconds this clog-wearing, power walking Asian lady was also karate chopping the webs I was constantly walking through. Walk, walk, spider web to the forehead, karate chop, walk, walk, stop, try to pull the damn sticky thread off, walk, walk, take another web to the chin. I felt like anyone looking out of their window when I walked by must have seen some crazy, hallucinating, karate chopping, flailing weirdo who kept stopping to pick imaginary bugs off of her face and body. So eventually I turned around and came back the same way, hoping I’d already taken out all the webs. Nope. And the way the sun was- this time I could see their wavy, glinting little selves strung across the road from the trees and such. Sometimes I’d see them in time to duck, sometimes I’d see them a half second before I walked through it, too late to stop. So the entire walk back felt like one of those cat burglar movies where the hot chick in spandex sprays that magic spray that lets her see all the laser lights that she must then backflip and do sexy little gymnastic walkovers to get through- only I was more like the spastic, drunken karate limbo from the psych ward. So, yeah. That was my walk. Surprisingly cop car free.

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Happy Holidays- Now who wants free porn?

Happy Holidays Dear Blog Readers-

I know this new blog kinda blows so far, and not in the good way. So as I find my way in this new realm, bear with me.

If anyone needs a quick break from the extended family this joyful season- pop on over to Smashwords.com, find my newest short story Taking My Husband And His Twin by Jamie Klaire and enter HL49B at checkout to read me for free. Coupon only good for a month- expires 1/9/14.

And as always Spying On My Sister or if you’d prefer – Spying On My Roommate is always free.

Now don’t say I never gave you anything 😉

Quick (And Late) Technical Stuff

Just a quick look at monthly totals for prosperity’s sake:

September sold 43 titles, October sold 30, and November sold 43. I’m still averaging over one title a day, but not yet 2. Not bad for a beginner, I guess. I don’t have anything to compare myself to, hence logging my own for someone else to compare to.

I did hit my first goal. Actually I feel uncomfortable calling it a goal as there is nothing I can do to reach it- so I’ll call it a milestone.

I’ve reached my first milestone- 100 titles sold. 116 to be exact. Woohoo celebration dance behind the keyboard. Next milestone I have no way to predict is: 500 titles sold.

Let’s see how the titles are doing:

The first 5- published in Sept: (Numbers are total sales since published)

My First Menage- 8

Please Officer, I’ll Do Anything-12

Please Officer, I’ll Do Anything (Stepbrother Edition)-2

Shared On My Husband’s Birthday-20

Spying On My Roommate-5 then went free everywhere except Amazon resulting in 493 downloads on Smash, 171 downloads elsewhere.

Spying On My Sister- 3 then went free everywhere except Amazon resulting in 231 downloads on Smash, 148 downloads elsewhere.

Massaged And Shaved By My Neighbor-16

Massaged And Shaved By My Stepbrother-14

The Dirty Little Secrets Trio (Family Version)-5

The Dirty Little Secrets nonfamily six pack-2

October’s Releases:

Hot For Teacher-8

Seduced At The Marine Masquerade Ball AKA Deflowered At The Marine Masquerade Ball-9

Deflowered By My Step Brother At The Marine Masquerade Ball-4

November’s Releases:

Taking My Husband And His Twin-8

Massaged And Shaved By My Neighbor 2 (released the last day of Nov)-0

Massaged And Shaved By My Step-Brother 2 (released the last day of Nov)-0

Returns were back to normal 3-5 I think.